Giving

We've been trying to teach our children about giving.

There are many ways of giving, but most of them boil down to money.  We wish that we could teach our children about giving their time, their care and their things and let it be.  But we've discovered that money must also be dealt with when teaching our children about being selfless.

The first step was to introduce them to an allowance.  We have a chore chart that rotates, and everyone is on an even playing field.  Everyone gets a turn with the same chores, even Aidan.  Nice to be able to finally keep it fair!  And the rules of the game run this wise: all chores must be done, regardless.  But if the chore is not done cheerfully (which must be coupled with a stipulation against complaining), then you don't get a sticker for the chore.  Chore gets done, but no sticker.  If they don't get enough stickers, they don't get their weekly dollar.  So the dollar is more for the attitude than the chore itself.

Enter the concept of what an allowance can "get you".  Enter trips to the store to purchase plastic junk.  Enter the introduced concept of sharing that allowance.  Early on, the idea that the money is "theirs" permeates everything.  And it's like teaching a person to share all over again.  Just like we did with toys when they were little (and sometimes we still have to work on it), we teach them that even though something belongs to us, it's still right to share.  Enter the plight of the human condition and a heart of care for the needs of others.  We want to hit all the angles and expose them to awareness about the needs of others.  Like Haiti and Japan.  Like addictions.  Mental illness.  Hunger.  And the overwhelming example of Jesus in His care for the human condition with all its ugliness and sorrow.

Unlike sharing, charity is not something you can or should "make" a child do.  I sought out answers to my questions in the realm of adult attitudes towards charity.  I took a good look at myself.  I talked to Shane.  He (as always) had an insightful, personal thought on the subject.  He said that when he thinks about what he's done for others, he always feels bad because it isn't much.  He doubted that any old person has said "Boy, I wish I hadn't given away so much to charity!"  We discussed our penchant for wanting "more".  There's always so many irons in the fire, that we can never get to them all.  A new upright freezer, a washer/dryer in one drum, a patio, a new car, pay down the loans, move the driveway to a new spot, save up for yearly vacations... and plenty of indoor ideas.  With all that we want to do, it's easy to forget that someone, many someones, are hungry.  Many somebodies don't get a good education.  And how comfortable do we feel when we choose ourselves, repeatedly, over them?  Shane and I agree: not so very.  Jesus didn't say "fill up thy barns and build bigger", but he said "take no thought for the morrow or for what you will wear or what you will eat".

I think it is an unavoidable, human trait to want.  And I suppose that the first thing I can do for my children is to WANT to think of others.  And to expose them to the burgeoning of love for others that comes with charity, and also to be wary of self-congratulation or the praise of men.

Whew!  Any thoughts?