The Skirt ~ It worked better in my head

Last year I made a dress for Julia out of anti-pill fleece.  It was perfect for a dress-wearing princess in the freezing winter temps.  She still ran barefoot on tile, but at least she was in something cozy!  It still fits her this year, too, and still looks bright and beautiful.

The blue looks so good with her eyes!

This year, a clever Mama decided to go with this great idea once again.  I made Julia a skirt out of fleece, this time a super cute print in pink and brown.

I found a pattern for the poodle-style skirt that makes a full circle on the ground.  As I was rushing through this quick little task, I thought how SIMPLE it would be to just throw a satin-y border around the edge instead of hemming it.  Don't they have some great blanket binding and such at the fabric store?  And the contrast of texture, what fun!  Cozy and silky all in one.  So after Julia wore the skirt a few times, I stole it back and put on the trim.

Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, tra-la-la! sang the industrious wife, and sweet Mommy.

Jeez, where are we on this hem?  This decorative stitch is taking awhile.

What?  I still haven't hit the second seam which marks HALFWAY around this dumb skirt?!?!

Hours later, the quick little task was complete, after refilling the bobbin right before the last 8 inches.  But that's just par for the course, right?

THEN.

The great idea that had seemed so cute, so original became clear to me.  And as I gazed at the completed skirt, I wondered if Calysta just felt that it would be too mean to warn me of the obvious dangers when she heard my great plan on the phone.  I felt embarrassed.

This is why other mom's don't make fleece clothes trimmed with satin.  Because it looks like a repurposed baby blanket.

I am happy to report that Julia loves it, wears it all the time, including to both Special Meetings.  Mama gets to eat humble pike or pie as the case may be.

Homeschool and Public School Update

Hello there, everyone! =)  It's been a happy day.  I am finally starting to feel thankful for all the upheaval about how to educate our children.  I am noticing so many things, monitoring myself in new ways and observing our family dynamic in a more critical and yet more removed manner.  So much good is coming from all of this!

I am glad to have evaluated my relationship with Lucas, lately.  All the kids, really, but for now just Lucas. He recently had a difficult experience that he told me about afterward.  I need to be a little cryptic, but I realized how lucky I was that he could tell me about being embarrassed, not knowing what to do, feeling pressure, just a lot of things that are hard.  So we talked and worked out a few things, I felt a confirmation that for now, we need to be together.  Today, like the last week, we shared jokes, looks and smiles and discipline was smooth. No sass or complaining from him, no yelling or frustration on my part.

Julia continues to give me clues (not only by saying she wants to go to school) that she could use some time out and away.  Maybe only one year, maybe the whole time.  But she needs to try something new, I think.  She wants to make girlfriends.  And after her first sleepover with her dearest gal pal, she would like to live with, go to school with and go to church with Marina.  =) While she won't be able to do two of those things, she can do one.  And she might need to learn a little more about how every choice has a price, like that she won't get to play with her friends all day in school, she will have homework and she'll be away from her family, too.  We've discussed all of this and I have explained what would be expected of her in a classroom setting and she's willing.  Mostly, I just am feeling like it is the right choice.
Fears: I have always worried that I might not be as connected to her as I would like, even prenatally, and does that mean she's "easiest" to part with?  Horrible thought!  I don't think it's a reason, but I still fear. Something I need sorted by God because it's scary to me.


I'm on the fence with Aidan, he'll do great anywhere I put him, I think.  He's slacked off of first grade, right at the middle of the year.  He's getting tired and complaining, so I'm just giving him a little work and encouraging him to do lots of playing.  He cheerfully loves doing his smaller amount and I tell him that it's important for kids to play(not on the computer).  Yesterday, after playing, he found his half-done math assignment, and finished his plus two's for fun.  Fun!!!  =)

We just had our first day of a new student in our class, and it was so wonderful!  It adds such a wonderful dimension, and like Shane says, keeps me more organized and prepared. ;)  I love the chance to do something I've always thought about and wanted to try.  We'll take some time to find the new stride, but that process is fun, too!

I'm feeling more positive, can you tell??  =)

Educating Children

Okay, I'm tired of the tone of my previous post!  However, it garnered some incredible advice, which is just what I wanted and needed.  Thank-you! Really, I am SO thankful.  I feel calmed. =)

I'm usually very confident about my views, and homeschooling is one area I don't usually feel in doubt about.  But I have become a little bit aware how easy it is to nurture our own opinions and ignore facts that oppose them, and I would like to avoid doing that.  Hence, the doubts and worries.

Over the last little while, I've continued to think and wrestle and also follow some of that good advice. I started with Shane's motives. It occurred to me he just might want an excuse to move. =)

1. he wanted me to consider my relationship with Lucas before it was a huge issue.
2. if we need to move, he wants to know right away so we can plan for that.

I also asked him if he felt like he wasn't getting enough attention from me since I was homeschooling and he asked me what kind of person I thought he was.  =)  We're pretty tight, Shane and I, and spend a lot of time together.  So I don't have to worry that's an issue.  Motives, check.  (perhaps I overreacted to his comments? wouldn't be the first time!)

I evaluated my stress level.  Homeschooling is stress, yes.  I probably wouldn't be homeschooling properly if it didn't stress me out a little.  However, homeschooling is my passion.  I love it.  I love planning, I love filling out my planner(two different things!), reading ahead in subjects, buying the manipulative's for each subject and I love working with the kids.  I love organizing my day, setting up the learning centers and getting the classical music all ready.  I love winding the kids up with a taste of what they'll learn in history or science that day, watching Aidan write, spell and read like a pro, watching Lucas get all wrapped up in the Time Traveling Trio books and watching Julia beam with pride at a job well done.  She's methodical and gets the job done right.  I love it when I announce a subject and they all scream with delight.  It's less fun when they make a complaining noise for phonics, but they are doing that less often.  I love filing their work in their portfolios and seeing the progress they have made.  Also, I'm not usually an unhappy or crabby person, another indicator of stress.

A try at pros and cons.  They are so different for us all!  I think it's revealing, but I'm not sure what it reveals yet for me in the long term.

Public School:

pros:

1. they will have fun

2. they will make friends and socialize

3. I will have more time to myself

cons:

1. curriculum won't be as comprehensive or thorough

2. it takes up a lot more of the day

3. not as flexible a schedule

4. will pick up words, attitudes, greater consciousness of fitting in
5. good teacher not guaranteed 

Homeschool:

pros:

1. outstanding quality materials

2. more time for non-core subjects

3. flexible schedule
4. control over long-term education
5. less time wasted

cons:

1. harder to meet/make friends

2. little time to myself

3. housework suffers

4. harder to get time apart

I can't decide where to put clashing with kids.  Is it better to be together and work things through?  Is it better to have most of the day apart? Jury is out.

Working on the spiritual side of things, too.  And I have never been considering public school for this school year, so we'll be sticking with hs til summer for sure.  And I am posting all of this on purpose so that you can comment.  So don't be shy and get your opinion out there! =)

Homeschool vs. Public School

Nice, attention-grabbing title, eh?  But if you are looking for answers, I don't have any.  I have conflicts! I thought it might be nice to air a few (just a few!) of the things flying around in my brain, lately.  Please comment on any trends or perspectives, I'm hoping for some clarity!

I typically don't have much conflict about homeschooling.  I think it's great, I like doing it, I like the curriculum I am working on, the kids are progressing from average upwards.  All's well, you might say.

Enter a particularly high-hormone couple of days and a chat with the hubby.  Now, I need him in many ways, and one of those ways is to keep me balanced and clear-headed.  However, he didn't have the best timing when he brought up his issues.  First, he suggested we decide what we want for our kids in future and make the best decisions how to get there.  I just sort of stared at him, because I remember starting to have that conversation in high school with my BFF, Becca, about what qualities we wanted in our children and how we would achieve this as parents.  I didn't know Shane back then.  But I (shock and awe!) kept my sassy, hormone-raging mouth shut.  The second issue he brought up was how Lucas and I are clashing and he is concerned about our relationship and if it could be wrecked by being around each other too much.  (More on that later, perhaps)

He brought up several things, then told me I could decide to do whatever I wanted, but we needed to move if they were going to public school, and kissed me goodnight.

So now I've been in the hairy process of trying to weigh things out.  This is frustrating, because who can be a balanced scale?  We all have our biases, and I can't figure out how to be sure mine aren't interfering.

My first thought was to send the kids to public school for a year to "see" what is "best" for each "kid".  Oh wait, I really do mean kid.  What that year would really test is if they do BETTER there than they do at home.  But this is again fraught with frustration.  What they need each year changes!  Their personalities will shift with time and age and how can I possibly anticipate what they need in four years?  two? nine?  I begin to feel that the only right way to do it, is to have two lives each, look at the outcomes and THEN decide.

Another part of the problem:  Sometimes I get caught up in being "fair".  I know, it's shameful.  What I mean is that other families spend their time deciding what is best for their family as a whole.  They send their kids to public school.  I come along and decide what to do for my family, but I'm trying to make sure my decision shows others that I'm comfortable with their choice.  I want people to know that my homeschooling choice isn't meant to condemn their different choice(Because often HSers are "do or die").  So instead of making a choice for my family, I make a choice for my family plus my imaginary cloud of onlookers.

I wonder about other people making these decisions.  I wonder, do we all have a "first" in our minds about which is better?  Some people would only do one or the other, others are willing to say both could work, but of that second group, we collect up our  personal experience, training, bias, bits of info, feelings and come out with a favorite.  Is that how?  Maybe my love for teaching, my homeschool background, my control freak issues, too-easy college teacher training and some other random ingredients make homeschooling my most comfortable first choice.  Is it okay for us all to go to our favorite choice, unless something compels us to change?  If public school was my go-to comfort zone, would I be willing to homeschool for a year to see what was best for each kid?  Would I need to be?

Do I want to send them to public school just to see how they do?  No.  Not a bit.  But should I?

Should I?  And that is what I can't figure out.

A Chicken Persepctive

As we drove into town the other day, Lucas and I had an interesting conversation.

He asked me "Mom, if I were a chicken, would I enjoy being a chicken?"

An interesting thought to ponder.  Both of them.

Why would he be wondering this?  However, if he can wonder what it's like to be a chicken, perhaps it isn't too much of a leap to then wondering what life is like for other people.

I wonder what he thinks about that I never hear?