Homeschool vs. Public School

Nice, attention-grabbing title, eh?  But if you are looking for answers, I don't have any.  I have conflicts! I thought it might be nice to air a few (just a few!) of the things flying around in my brain, lately.  Please comment on any trends or perspectives, I'm hoping for some clarity!

I typically don't have much conflict about homeschooling.  I think it's great, I like doing it, I like the curriculum I am working on, the kids are progressing from average upwards.  All's well, you might say.

Enter a particularly high-hormone couple of days and a chat with the hubby.  Now, I need him in many ways, and one of those ways is to keep me balanced and clear-headed.  However, he didn't have the best timing when he brought up his issues.  First, he suggested we decide what we want for our kids in future and make the best decisions how to get there.  I just sort of stared at him, because I remember starting to have that conversation in high school with my BFF, Becca, about what qualities we wanted in our children and how we would achieve this as parents.  I didn't know Shane back then.  But I (shock and awe!) kept my sassy, hormone-raging mouth shut.  The second issue he brought up was how Lucas and I are clashing and he is concerned about our relationship and if it could be wrecked by being around each other too much.  (More on that later, perhaps)

He brought up several things, then told me I could decide to do whatever I wanted, but we needed to move if they were going to public school, and kissed me goodnight.

So now I've been in the hairy process of trying to weigh things out.  This is frustrating, because who can be a balanced scale?  We all have our biases, and I can't figure out how to be sure mine aren't interfering.

My first thought was to send the kids to public school for a year to "see" what is "best" for each "kid".  Oh wait, I really do mean kid.  What that year would really test is if they do BETTER there than they do at home.  But this is again fraught with frustration.  What they need each year changes!  Their personalities will shift with time and age and how can I possibly anticipate what they need in four years?  two? nine?  I begin to feel that the only right way to do it, is to have two lives each, look at the outcomes and THEN decide.

Another part of the problem:  Sometimes I get caught up in being "fair".  I know, it's shameful.  What I mean is that other families spend their time deciding what is best for their family as a whole.  They send their kids to public school.  I come along and decide what to do for my family, but I'm trying to make sure my decision shows others that I'm comfortable with their choice.  I want people to know that my homeschooling choice isn't meant to condemn their different choice(Because often HSers are "do or die").  So instead of making a choice for my family, I make a choice for my family plus my imaginary cloud of onlookers.

I wonder about other people making these decisions.  I wonder, do we all have a "first" in our minds about which is better?  Some people would only do one or the other, others are willing to say both could work, but of that second group, we collect up our  personal experience, training, bias, bits of info, feelings and come out with a favorite.  Is that how?  Maybe my love for teaching, my homeschool background, my control freak issues, too-easy college teacher training and some other random ingredients make homeschooling my most comfortable first choice.  Is it okay for us all to go to our favorite choice, unless something compels us to change?  If public school was my go-to comfort zone, would I be willing to homeschool for a year to see what was best for each kid?  Would I need to be?

Do I want to send them to public school just to see how they do?  No.  Not a bit.  But should I?

Should I?  And that is what I can't figure out.