Adoption

I recently found out about some friends of ours beginning the journey of adoption.  And it's made me think about the subject once again, in all it's sweetness.  Be warned, I'm not well versed in adoption and the common faux pas that people say on the topic.  I'm a little worried about ignorantly saying something stupid.  So if you read on, please read with a measure of grace in your heart for me.

Growing up, we knew a few families that adopted children.  It was always a positive experience as an on-looker, although never easy because child-rearing simply isn't easy.  With one family, I got to meet each little girl the day they came to their new home, watch them become part of their new family and even attend their adoption ceremony at the courthouse with family, friends and workers present.  For those of you who know Paul Boyd, it was special to see him shed tears of joy at the ceremony and then speak often of adoption in gospel meeting.  Those little girls would just beam with joy, tapping their parents and whispering, "I'm adopted!"  It was a good kind of special, with good associations.

We have some dear friends that adopted their first child from Korea.  It was beautiful to watch them all take to each other so naturally and lovingly.  Both sides of the extended families were so eager to welcome the little guy and shower him with "grandparent-ly" enthusiasm and love.

I have some neighbors, with two boys biologically, that are doing "foster-to-adopt" and it's been a difficult road for them.  It's clear to me that they feel guided by a larger Will than their own in the step of adoption.  It's a daily act fraught with pain and heartache because of the uncertainty and children coming and going, but they are so motivated by the needs of children and their desire to share a loving family.  It's inspiring!

I had wished to adopt, but in the early married years, it wasn't a shared dream.  Now that we exceeded our capacity of two children, adopting is something that I have to wrap up and put on the shelf.  But I have little dreams of foster care that I'm saving for future days, if possible!  And someday, maybe I can be a Grandma to children born in the heart, as well as under it.

And now, more dear friends from back in the "single days"  have decided to adopt.  They have two bio daughters who are ready to open their hearts and home to make more family.   I can think of three other families I know who have adopted, one started with adoption, the other finished with adoption and the third only adopted.  I love how each adoption story, each journey is so unique yet motivated by the similar things: the desire to share in a family, and the needs of the children themselves.

Although I realize adoption is not exclusively a spiritual decision, I do enjoy thinking of it in that light.  That God wanted a family, so He adopted us.  That God loves us in our need, and gives us gifts beyond compare.  That He even sees us as worthy of adoption, we who are so much less than He.  Like marriage can be a type of Christ and the church, natural adoption is a type of us being spiritually adopted in the family of God.  I'm thankful God adopted me, and I'm thankful for those who show this great gift to children in this world.

Trippin' in the Northwest

We went to visit my side of the family for almost three weeks this month, and it was a lovely time.

This was the main reason for our visit:

Grandpa is in a care facility because of dementia, and it was special to go and visit him with my Grandma.  Difficult times, sweet times and good memories.  A reminder of caring for our own when they need us, whether they know us or not.  Not that I do that, but watching my Gma and the family who are nearby doing the difficult thing day after day is a poignant example.

The kids and I visited these two sisters and their families(got to see them each twice!):

Cora...

...and Tyler.

And my parents...

and bro...

and baby sis.

And my paternal Grandma:

And this sister's family:

And this sister with her M & M & M family:

Only missing one sweet sister on that trip!  Planning to see her soon, when her second bundle of joy joins the cousins in the late summer.

At the end of the trip, Papa met up with us at Arches Nat'l Park, where we had a super awesome wonderful time doing hikes.  The lovely thing is, you don't have to hike into the heart of wilderness to see amazing things all around.  The unlovely thing is: I'm out of shape for this kind of hiking, so I'd best fix that.  As it is, the kids will soon have to take turns carrying me back on the trail.

Some shots from Arches:

It was a great trip, and we are glad to be home. =)

Shane Says....

Those of you that talk to me know:

I always talk about what Shane says!  And it's always amazing and pithy.

Today I'm back after that long hiatus with a little story from this evening.

At dinner tonight, the silliness was infectious.  Usually, it makes me annoyed, but everyone was giggly.  Lucas and Julia noticed their Papa's haircut, which was funny, since he got it last night and has been home most of the day.  Lucas, always full of mischief, tried to scare his Papa by telling him "Ack! You have a small bald spot on top of your head!"

And Papa said, "I'd rather have a small bald spot on top of my head, than a large stupid spot between my ears."

Riotous hilarity erupted.

Aidan's 6th Birthday

Happy 6th Birthday, Aidan!

Aidan opened gifts in the am after his requested breakfast of scones, cheesy eggs and bacon.

There was his first Bible, hymn book and bible case....

Which led to this later in the afternoon.  I already feel good about the purchase!

Then we took cupcakes to Explora, but first stopped by to see our friends, the Rudolphs, as they passed through town.  So fun!

After a lunch at Sonic, we went and tried our hand at miniature golf.  It was a first for the kids, and they ended up liking it!  Not that we stuck to the rules exactly...

Then we came home and had cake, mint chip ice cream, and white grape punch with floating lime sherbet in it.  No supper.  Just cake.

Aidan successfully turned 6!  And now my baby doesn't have much "baby" left of him!  He still lets me snuggle and he will allow some lap time before he's off and running again. =)

Aidan loves a poem that my mother taught me, that I seem to recall she learned from her dad.

When I was one, I was just begun.

When I was two I was nearly new.

When I was three I was hardly me.

When I was four I was not much more.

When I was five I was just alive.

But now I'm six and as clever and clever.

So I think I'll stay six, for now and forever!

An Accidental Parenting Technique

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a way to handle sibling fights that seems to work!  I've been talking to my sisters about it, and now I keep hearing what a great idea it is.  And I think to myself, "Oh yeah! I need to remember to keep doing this!"

One weekend, two kids came up to me crying and talking over each other about how they had been wronged.  I turned and looked at them, and decided to just keep listening to them until they had nothing left to say.  After a few minutes of talking, they both fell silent, waiting to see what I would do.  I felt calm.  I had decided ahead of time that because of all the screaming and yelling, they would both hang the wet laundry.  So I made a remark like "Thank-you for telling me."  Then I told them that because of the yelling and upset in the house, they needed to go hang the laundry.  And off they went!

Not a tear, not a complaint, they just headed out and hung up the laundry.  I was flummoxed, I can tell you!  I expected at least some little complaint about doing a chore.  But they just went and did it.  So I've talked to sisters and thought about why this happened because I'd like to understand what is at work here.  One sister suggested that it felt good to the kids to be "heard".  And that just being heard can alleviate frustration.  Another sisters suggested that it felt fair to the kids not to have me make a judgement "against" one or the other.  And I wonder if me being calm and not getting angry and trying to sort it all out keeps them from feeling so angry.

Whatever it is, I'm glad I told my sisters about it.  Now they can help keep me accountable by asking how that technique continues to work for me. =)

This may be somewhat "love and logic-y" although I haven't been a devoted scholar so can't claim to be using their methods exactly.  But I have read one of the books and like the idea of separating oneself from parents giving out consequences to more of empathizing with the kid as they experience negative repercussions of their choices.  And I do like the love and logic method very much, just haven't been terribly conscientious about following it.

SchoolRoom ~ the after pictures

My friends, I posted the before pictures of my school room so that I would be inspired (shamed) into finishing it.

At last, I have almost everything done in this room.  And I love it!  So here are some after pictures to show:

To the left, the worktable, piano and loveseat facing the computer desk.

To the right, the treadmill with our best work over it.

One master closet painted and turned into...

a Library

And puppy dog tails hold up the backpacks for their long trek to school.

Today was our second quarter awards ceremony.

Goals were met, prizes awarded and achievements acknowledged.

How To Safely Cook Onions

No Tears