Birthdays for Big Kids

In December, Shane and I turned 38 and 35, respectively.

And oh, what a delight to celebrate turning another year older while spending it with each other!

My highlights were some new REAL leather boots because I've never bought myself something that nice.  I'm not known for having nice things, exactly...  And these flowers because Shane hunted for them all over town until he got gerberas and calla lilies for me. So sweet!

I don't know what Shane's highlight was.  Maybe the lazy daisy cake.  I take that back: he got himself some track time in Las Vegas, baby!  I'll post more on that later.

As usual, we had quiet and happy days for our birthdays.  Just the way we like them!

12 Years of Sheer Bliss

This month, we celebrated our 12th year of marriage.

A little B&B, an expensive restaurant and a movie.  We are so creative!

It's fun to think of the ways we are similar, and the ways we are different.

Like toast, for example.

We both like the french bread toasted with butter.

But!

Shane likes it sweet and fruity.

I like it with heavily salted avocado. 

According to the kids, here are some ways we are alike and different.

SAME:

L: You are both married.  Your fingers both turn white when you get angry.  

A: You're both adults.  You are both parents.  You are both humans. You both speak the same language. You both quiver when you are cold. You both go on errands.(I'm glad we both speak the same language.  Could be a real downer in a marriage not to.)

J: You both have the same color of eyes. You both have red lips.  You both spank us when you are annoyed.  You both like to sleep in. You both smooch when you are happy.(I guess we spank based on how we feel; not on how the kids behave...)

DIFFERENT:

J: You are loud and noisy and Papa is quiet.  And you don't look the same. I think Mom's huggier. You cook and Papa doesn't.  And you make strawberry shortcake and water the plants.  Papa's funnier than Mama.  Papa treats us calm, Mama treats us grouchy.  Papa has a goatee, you don't.(well, I guess there are points there for both of us)

A: The way you look.  Dad's hairy, Mom's not. (thanks, son) And mom has longer hair than Dad. Your voices are different.  How about your mind? Dad's smarter than you, Mom.(indeed)

L: For one thing, you are not a man and a man, and you are not a woman and a woman.  Papa does necessary work and you don't.  just kidding!  (hardee har har) 

Shane Says....

Those of you that talk to me know:

I always talk about what Shane says!  And it's always amazing and pithy.

Today I'm back after that long hiatus with a little story from this evening.

At dinner tonight, the silliness was infectious.  Usually, it makes me annoyed, but everyone was giggly.  Lucas and Julia noticed their Papa's haircut, which was funny, since he got it last night and has been home most of the day.  Lucas, always full of mischief, tried to scare his Papa by telling him "Ack! You have a small bald spot on top of your head!"

And Papa said, "I'd rather have a small bald spot on top of my head, than a large stupid spot between my ears."

Riotous hilarity erupted.

Birthday Bliss

 This month, Shane and I had our birthdays.  Yay!  And a friend of mine has a friend.... got that?  That has dealt with breast cancer and is thankful for every birthday she has.  This is my new aspiring attitude, to be grateful that each birthday, each anniversary is a reminder of what I have.  It marks the end of a year which is a gift that is mine to treasure. 

With this in mind, I will gaze again at the front of my hair, which is rapidly sprouting grey, and be glad that I am getting old.  I have so far had this much time with my husband and children, and the grey-er and wrinkly-er I get, the luckier I am.  

This year, Shane and I had fairly easy-going birthdays.  This is becoming more and more our style, it's just nice to have a day with family and a little extra attention.

For Shane, we met up with him for lunch at a Vietnamese place, then went Karting!

Well, he and Lucas did. Me and the other two played air hockey and some other arcade games.  I got Shane a go-pro and thought he might use it, but they were ready for him on the track so he didn't get a chance to set it up.  However, he'll have it for the next time!  Lucas did much better this second time on the track, too.  Shane also got a Creme Brulee torch, new winter gloves and a laser pointer.

The cake flopped, so we just had a plain cake for him this year.  It stuck to the pan, in spite of being oiled and floured, so I couldn't use it to make the Porsche decal that we had in mind.  However, it tasted just fine!  And the next day I made him some INSANE Creme Brulee so we could burn some sugar.  It was SO, so good!

For me, Shane took me and the kids out to breakfast, something I dearly love!  Poor thing had a tummy ache later, but I downed the Crazy Larry omelet with no trouble whatsoever.

We came home, had Creamy Caramel Flan and opened some presents. Shane got me a much nicer camera and some cozy (but not sloppy) pj's and a quilted down vest.  =)  Yay!

He got this pirate card from him and the kids that said:

Front: "I told me crew to lavish ye with some fine pirate booty"

Inside: "Not THAT kind of booty!" as three little pirates pants come down and they are saying things like "Is this the poop deck?" and "got any sunscreen?"

The kids loved it!

Then Shane and I went out on a mutual birthday date and saw Mission Impossible #408 and went to Red Lobster for a yummy shrimp and lobster treat.  

It was nice!

When I Grow Up To Be Normal

The other day, I was telling Aidan how grown up he is getting!

I asked him what he was going to be when he grew up, maybe a fireman or a cowboy?

"Nah," he said.  "Just a normal person."

But maybe he'd like to be an astronaut!  Or perhaps fly airplanes?

"No, Mom," he said.  "I'm just going to be a normal person."


Later in the day, he happened to have a similar conversation with his Papa.  When Shane asked him what he was going to be, he replied:

"I'm just going to be a normal man."


His total lack of enthusiasm was crazy!  Once again, it would be so interesting to dive inside the mind of a child.  I hypothesize that he might mean he wants to be like Shane, who is "normal" to Aidan.  He'll play Starfall on the computer and tell me he's "working at the computer, like Papa".  He's mentioned on several occasions how he's going to grow up and work in his closet like Papa does.  (Shane has no office in this house, so his walk-in closet is his office here.)  So perhaps Aidan's idea of what a "normal man" does is to sit in his closet with his computer and "work".

Poor child, he needs a healthier view!

Ten Years... already?

Hafta say...

Still feels like the honeymoon!

Here we are at 22 and 25 years old.  June of 2001 in Fiji.

Yes, it's true that I miss how exciting it was to hold hands, and how gazing into the eyes was something we could do for hours.  We talked on the phone with no trouble at all, and now it's a little harder.  But that said, there are some serious perks to having worked out a few things.

We don't fight nearly as much, and when we do, it's shorter and more mutually successful.  =)

We're learning what makes each other happy, instead of giving each other what we want for ourselves.

We've synchronized.  We think a lot alike.  But not quite enough alike to make it boring. =)

And while it's not quite as exciting to hold hands, being together is even more exciting, fulfilling and satisfying than ever before.

He looks even handsomer than he did in his early youth (now he's in his mid-youth).

Our skin is thicker, we don't jump to the wrong conclusion quite as often.

We laugh together, and it's fun.

So now we're 32 and 35 and we've got three growing kiddos that keep us challenged and accountable.  And I'm so happy to be right here, right now, today.

Love Notes

Not long ago, Lucas was feeling sad and blue.  Julia took the initiative to cheer him up, and worked on a little project for him.

Then she came to me and asked if I would write down a poem she made up.  I was so curious to see what it was all about, since this would be the first poem she has ever shared with me.

Huddle up next

Go on a date

Snuggle with love

Jump on the trampoline with Lucas

I loved it!  So did Lucas. =)

And then there was Father's Day:

More artwork, and this year, I had the kids finish a sentence telling why they like having Shane be their Papa.  I think he liked it.  =)

Julia:

"I'm glad you are my Papa because you're handsome, you work hard and I love you.  When you look at me it makes me smile."

Lucas:

"I'm glad you are my Papa because you take me to special places like Karting and because you're so fun, so nice and I love you."

Aidan:

"I'm glad you are my Papa because of your great work and how you tickled me yesterday and you are very nice."

Vegetarian Cooking and a Salmon Soapbox

Happy May! We got snow on May Day, how's that for a temperamental spring?  It's been so lovely, that I planted my garden weeks ago. =)  But my garden is so small, that it will be a simple thing to replant.  Life does, indeed, go on!

So I'm on the prowl, and I need some guidance and most of all, IDEAS!!!  The latest bee in my bonnet is looking into some vegetarian cooking.  Maybe someday we'll move entirely to vegetarian, but for now, my goal is to make vegetables the centerpiece at meals.  We have June's lovely Red Beans and Rice recipe that we can leave the meat out of and enjoy as vegetarian, and that's a start.  I'm looking at chickpeas, maybe in salads for protein and maybe even dabbling in tofu.  I haven't had much experience with either, but I hear tofu needs to be paired with something flavor-rich, or marinated since it's so bland on it's own.

From what I can see, the top plant protein performers are:
beans and rice
chickpeas
quinoa
tofu

Anyone know of more powerhouse veggies in the protein department?

We don't really have to stress, since we will only be eating a vegetarian meal once a week.  However, I'd really like to get to know my "stuff" on vegetarian eating and do it right.  A Mom must always remember about those little ones learning by example! =)

I am not interested in going Vegan, just to be clear.  I embrace eggs and dairy. =)  I embrace meat, too, but I'd like to learn to be less dependent on it, and go for a heartier portion of veggies as life goes on.

I think fish, salmon especially, is a meat we do want on the table with some regularity.  But we only buy the salmon from the heavily regulated fisheries, not farm raised, or wild-caught that are overfished.  And we found out that there's going to be oil drilling right smack dab in the middle of where our fish are responsibly fished in Alaska.  So as soon as dependable old human error comes into play, and another leak or spill occurs in that location, we won't be able to get salmon anymore.  Because we won't support farms or fisheries that overfish wild salmon.  It is frustrating that it would even be allowed when the fish situation is already precarious, but I only have one option.  Do the little I can do, then take deep breaths and try not scream.  And one "little" I can do is spend my money supporting things that are right.  As you all know, wild alaskan salmon is not cheap.  $30 for a 3lb bag.  Farm raised is much cheaper.  But I'm letting my money talk, even though I'm just one person.  Can I afford to support safe fishing or can I afford not to?  May I always do right or do without!

Shane said that if a person wants to be right, then it would be a good idea to get used to being wrong a LOT!  I love it.  He was talking about himself, in case that would ever be unclear.  But it's so true.  Right isn't getting people to believe my opinion, which could easily be wrong.  Right is that constant search for truth, coming a little at a time and only as I'm honest and willing to be wrong.

Hubby Angst

Yes, I know most of you are never frustrated with your husbands.  Of course not!  But just imagine for a moment that you were.  How would you handle it?

I'm thinking mostly about husband angst as it relates to having children.  And not everyone finds marriage difficult just because children entered the picture.  But I did.  And I wonder if we would have had the same struggles if we hadn't had children and instead had sleep.  It would be nice to think that the struggles we've been through have brought us to a better place that we couldn't have achieved without them.

Just looking around at the people I know, there are so many different types of chemistry in a marriage.  What works for one, may not work for another.  When relating to friends, sometimes the problem they are telling me about with their husband is what I do to mine.  Oops!  Helpful perspective, there.  We value things differently sometimes based on our gender, sometimes based more on personality.  Some things are easy for one person to tolerate, but another person feels hurt by the same thing.  Navigating can be tricky, sort of like walking on a balance beam with a blindfold and sharpened spikes on the floor.  The advice being shouted, sometimes by older sisters, can be confusing or useless and certainly doesn't help you focus on the goal.  Sometimes a person is aware they need tools and would love to hop on down to the marriage department and pick up a few useful things.  Then when you get there, you don't know which tools you need or how to use them.

Some people seem to have no trouble at all having a loving, respectful marriage where both people love to give to each other, and get their needs met all at the same time.  They seem not to feel the effects of sleepless nights, children, extended family issues, money worries and job demands.  And that should be encouraging, but it isn't, much.

And on a spiritual vein, you understand that God, in His wisdom made a man and a woman for each other. Why it is so hard, then, to figure it all out?  Why is something so natural so unnatural to navigate?

Well, I'm here to tell you that I haven't gotten it all figured out.  So I'm hoping this post will stir up a bunch of ideas.  Especially since every marriage is so different, hearing what different people do/did is bound to turn up a good idea or two.

I'll start with my "few grains" just to get the ball rolling!

Attitude.

Strength of purpose.

Attitude is pretty easy to explain, understand and a little more difficult to carry out.  I get SO MUCH out of my Dear One when my requests or "complaining time" is done with the right attitude.  My attitude is my physical manifestation of my thoughts.  So if I'm thinking "Dweeb!  It's obvious that I can't change two dirty diapers at once!  Offer to help, slacker!" and at the same time say "Darling, could you help me by changing so-and-so's diaper?" then my husband will flip out.  By the same token, I could instead think "Wow, kids sure keep me hopping!" and posit the same request to my husband.  He will respond even cheerfully when my thoughts are not angry.  It's like he can see my thoughts, even the tiny ones that harbor resentment.
I bought this idea, and tried to use it, but it took me a long time to train my mind and feelings to think more positively.  But when I did, my husband responded to me just like I had wished back when I was a fish-wife.  By me practicing this act, I found I was less frustrated with my husband, and he was much happier with me!

Strength of purpose.  I mean several things by this, so I'll explain.  Sometimes it's hard to separate ourselves from how we feel, especially when we feel exhausted, on the verge of tears or like a mean, ugly bear.  Or when we feel justifiably angry.  Strength of purpose is what I'm calling that ability to take a deep breath and do THE RIGHT THING when we feel like we have no reserves left to draw from.  In the face of an act or deed or careless oversight by our partner that upsets us, we continue to be what we should.  If we need to address a problem, addressing it with a right attitude.  If we need a break, making that clear in a way that doesn't blame our husband.  Strength of purpose is, to me, the "against all odds" kind of attitude that is required for the better things in life.

Papa with his first, Lucas

Strength of purpose came to light for me when I stopped making my husband responsible for my happiness.  Sometimes, he'd come home and tell me about his day, leaned back against the counter with a huge, cold coke in his hand while I got supper ready.  I'd fume inside, seethe, really.  Then a couple crying/fighting children would come around and he'd ask, "What's wrong with them?".  The water comes to a boil, I rush to the cabinet to get the next ingredient and the baby holding my skirt falls and bangs their head.  Papa just stands there while they cry, I get the ingredient I need, put it in the water and snatch up the crying child.  Papa sips his coke.  I'm about ready to smack him, or walk out and drive to a hotel, thoughts of an uninterrupted bubble bath flit through my head.  I'd think "Does he expect me never to snap, no matter how hard it is?"  I'd get mad that I was so "reliable".  Familiar thoughts of throwing things, desperate deeds and solitude flash past on my mental image reel.  Of course, hubby doesn't know any of this.  Doesn't realize how I'm feeling or the chaos that is up around my ankles.  (hush, Calysta!)  He comes home from a job (or school) providing for his family only to get an angry, blaming wife.  Of course he'd come rushing home to me!

Papa with his girl, Julia

I accepted that it wasn't fair of me to put my feelings on him.  If he needed to know, I could tell him nicely.  But most importantly, I decided that I was going to stop waiting for help and "do it myself".  I began to prepare supper early, so I didn't have to cook at suppertime.  I began to give myself one household chore per day to be done during naps, and after I was done, the rest of the down time was mine to relax in.  I began to go to bed earlier, even though I loved my "alone time" when the kids went to bed.  I dealt with a lot of resentment inside myself.  I resented doing it myself.  But today, I'm so much happier because of it, and my marriage is healthier because of it, too.  My expectations changed, and it gives me hope for the years to come.

Papa with his last, Aidan

These days, my frustration is at myself.  I have a lot of things I need to do better, or begin doing in the first place.  But now that is on me instead of on my husband and it helps to take away that frustration I used to feel towards him.  I can see areas to improve in my life, but I don't (often) make my marriage suffer for it.  Sometimes I slip back into the old ways but it usually doesn't happen for long.  I've seen the light, experienced a better way.  Who would go back to sawdust after steak?

Ahhh... Butcher Block!

We are now the proud and happy owners of a butcher block covered island! Now we get to experience what it will be like to maintain it. =)

Shane did all the work, of course. Ripped out the gross tile that was falling apart. He had to constantly watch Lucas who was determined to get some flying tile in his eyes.

Anyway, he got it unscrewed from the top and we hauled it out to the "junkyard" in front of our house. So attractive!

Our island had an overhang towards the living room, somewhat like a bar, only pretty low. We don't use it, and it's a waste of space for us. So instead, we bought two long cabinets and installed them under the overhang. They will be for garbage and recycling. Each has a pull-out drawer and should be a pretty slick set-up. We really like the idea of having both hidden behind a cabinet door!

So it's in and I've already used it to prepare more of the PW's quesadilla's! It seems a little dried out, so I'm heading over to get some food safe mineral oil and give it a good rub down. If we don't like how it looks after I've used it as a cutting board, we'll lightly sand and then seal it. But everything I read says it should work great, so I'm going to give it a try.

One more thing: in the space you see above between the two cabinets, we are going to line it with walnut and put in some shelves for decoration. =) The butcher block is walnut, too. When that happens, I'll post more pictures. Til then, just know I'm enjoying my new countertop!

Cracked Eggs

More chicken news and information!

Greetings from Big Mama on the right, and "the other one".

Well, we have had some interesting weather last week and now this week, too. Last week we saw plenty of snow and wind and the schools closed for three days! We saw some double digit negative numbers at night, some have reported minus 12 degrees! About a month ago, I finally decided that I'd put a light in the chicken coop. I felt sorry for them and worried that I'd come out some morning to find them half alive. I am not interested in reviving or killing off a half-dead chicken, so I went for the heat bulb. I was wanting a black heat bulb, the kind used in reptile habitats, but Wal-Mart was out and I wasn't driving to town to search for one. Having healthy, natural birds means I hesitate to give them artificial light. But.... cold times call for a compromise in standards. I guess.

And so the girls have light all the time, 24 hours a day. Which might be why their egg production is so great durning this freezing weather! Just to illustrate how cold it was, I went to collect eggs one day and found the rare and beautiful green egg... only to discover that it had frozen and cracked. So I had to toss it in the non-chicken compost pile. =(

Now we collect the eggs twice a day, and even then, I think a few eggs might have become a little frosted inside. But no matter, if the shell is intact, a little frozen inside won't bother us.

Here you can see the girls finally out enjoying a little bit of sunshine after being "cooped up" for two days. =)

At my monthly shopping trip to Costco, I was tickled to notice that I don't need to buy eight 18 packs of eggs, only three. =) So I looked up at the price and discovered I was "saving" an entire $10.55 per month. Eggs are about the cheapest protein, guess we should be raising our own meat chickens and beef instead. (never!)

I'd like to report that my wild girl (Marian named her CJ, but none of their names have stuck) once again "flew" over the gate.

This is CJ, also known as "wild girl":

So now her flight feathers are clipped on both sides. Their fence isn't high enough for a real chicken coop, but when you are trying to keep a low profile, it's hard to convince the hubby to go for the tall fence. My Australorps are too fat to fly, but I guess the Americauna is lean and mean. She's still laying brown eggs, the twit! Doesn't she know she was purchased for variety, both with her looks and her eggs??? I'm hoping it's just a rebellious teen stage she's going through. ;)

And here's a closer picture of the gate Shane made for me with his new welder. He was excited to have a project of MINE to practice on, rather than ruining some exhaust pipes or some other welding project he's wanting to do for himself. And I'm very, VERY happy to be his practice!

Supposed to be -3 degrees tonight. It feels nice to have plenty of groceries, a warm pellet stove and nowhere to go!

Hope you are keeping cozy!

The Beauty of Marriage

I've been thinking about marriage and thought I'd just lay out a few things I have come to value and my perspective based on my life experience of one. Me. =)

I used to have a view of marriage different from my current one, namely before I was married. Then I began to develop a working view of marriage in the first few years. Four years into marriage, circumstances dictated that I completely overhaul every last thought about marriage. And overall, our marriage has had a few significant tests. Today, I think we have an almost perfect marriage, but I have learned that what seems like the pinnacle can become just a little stop along the way to greater heights. So I look forward to much more growth and discovery in my marriage for as much time as we get!

When I got married, I didn't understand how it felt to be in a boy/girl relationship without passionate love. How can you? Once the love dies, you break up. So in a marriage, you get to figure out how to make it work once that first love experiences things like irritation, surprise, annoyance and even anger. And for me, the first assumption was that is was his fault. And any baggage you might have comes flooding to the fore: "I won't be like someone else!" or "I won't let you treat me like someone I didn't like!" or "I deserve x, y and z from you!" or "Since you disagree with my way, you are squashing my rights!". Things of this nature.

Side note: It is interesting to think how I would have explained all this while I was in that time frame. Obviously, I now disagree with my own self, so I'm presenting my views in the light of being wrong (which I believe they were!)

For a long time, things were at an impasse, because (lucky me!) I married a guy who is tough, stubborn and values his own opinion highly(like I do). The reason this is so great, is that he never reinforced my crappy behavior by giving me what I thought I wanted at the time. So he didn't enable or allow me to jog down life's road forming heart-breaking habits. And yet, I still hadn't grasped the ideas that were to change my life and so it was tough going for a while. In this phase, Shane started grad school.

Test one showed up in the birth of our first son. Start to finish, it was a severe, and I mean SEVERE lesson in the dangers of "expectations". And I fought it tooth and nail, claiming that we should always keep those expectations high to help each other be better people. But my husband could not come to terms with how donning a swim suit and joining me in the birthing tub was in any way helpful to his character. (I can't believe I actually harbored a serious expectation about that!) Right and left, every expectation I formed was dashed, destroyed and royally smashed. And again, no conception on my part of how badly I was setting both myself and my husband up for failure. He had an inkling, but couldn't put it into words and also at times wondered by the strength (and endurance) of my arguments if I was right. Angrily, we discussed having another child, as my teenage sister came to live with us for six months. Birth control seemed a pain, so we got pregnant again! (I'm kidding, a little) 17 months after our son, our first daughter arrived along with several other major changes. Shane changed his professor in grad school and the change turned out to be a huge stressor. One sister had moved out and another one came for three months. I had two babies and a LOT of extra weight, and Shane decided he no longer wanted religion in his life. This was quite an experience for me, full of many different feelings, thoughts, questions, etc. But it was the pivotal moment.

One of the most significant things about having different views about God inside a marriage is how to make a marriage work in spite of that. Especially if you've assumed you'd always have that in common. I began to wonder about my influence and what I was like to live with. Was I responsible? Even if I wasn't, had I been the partner I was supposed to be? I felt (for the first time in my life) that there might be things worth keeping from my spouse. Say a bad mood. Maybe irritation that is really about something else. Maybe the nagging could be put aside. Maybe I could do a lot less leaning with the negative attitude. Maybe I could even listen when he complained(quietly and seldom) about something I did or said. Honestly, I don't know how I got so lucky to even think of these things. I'm sure God was hoping the time was ripe, because I'd never allowed such selfless thoughts before. I'd resented being selfless. He should be selfless for me! I was too busy, too tired and too overwhelmed to think of Shane. His life looked pretty rosy to me back then: off to school, privacy, quiet, time to think a whole thought without interruption, dinner when he got home, and no need to get out of bed in the night, because Mom breastfeeds. Bottom line was I discovered a different perspective. To think and work toward the goal of being someone worthwhile, instead of getting what I wanted from someone else. Interestingly, when the focus shifts to doing our own part, we end up getting even more than we wanted.

We've had a few tests since that first epiphany, and I have to keep things fresh in my mind. I continually re-read my favorite book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. One pearl of note that I have to keep fresh is that I can change my feelings by changing my mind and thoughts. It's something I never used to think was possible, but it happens all the time! We look back and remember how strongly we felt about something only to notice that we no longer feel passionate about it. It's because we stopped thinking about it, and we stopped giving it such a huge place in our minds. Sometimes we moved on, sometimes we were forced to. Well, practice makes perfect and I have lots of opportunity to practice thinking different thoughts until my feelings eventually follow suit. And they do! That is powerful.

It's not about doormats. It's not about losing your identity to someone else dictating your life. It's more about taking charge of your own happiness. Being a positive, happy person. Treating others the way you want to be treated. And even more, treating others the way THEY want to be treated. Not letting everyone know every time you feel like a grouchy complainer or a martyr or a maid. Choosing how to think of it makes all the difference. If I had all my dreams come true, what would they be? To be a wife and mom and homeschool. Oh, wait! That IS what I'm doing! Then what's with the negativity!?

These days, my marriage blows me away. We have to force ourselves to shut up and go to bed. We miss each other while Shane's away at work. I listen to his car and work talk, he listens to my family and friends talk. We plan projects together with minimal fuss and therein lies the beauty. If we disagree, life continues smoothly. We don't hurt each other in disagreeing and it's safe to hash out an issue. And we both fill our minds with mutual respect for each other so that our tone and body language will follow. Because you can't speak and act respectful when you're busy thinking the other person is a fool. Or incompetent. Or any number of negative things!

I love being married and in spite of the fact that it has been the hardest work I've ever done, the returns are tremendous! Worth every tear, prayer and growing pain.

Now weigh in an tell me what gems glow most brightly in your marriage!

Handsome Honey turns 35!

We had a Joe Cool birthday this year for Shane...

This year, we are supposed to "not do much" for our actual birthdays and instead use our allowance to get a sitter and go away for a night. But there's this stressor, you see. Shane's birthday comes first. I set the tone in gift giving. But what if he gets me something really cool? Really insightful or meaningful? (because he has, on many occasions!) Then I'm left in the dust with a dumb birthday for him, no chance for redemption. So I had to play it cool, and yet get him something decent... And something I could afford, HA HA HAAAA!

Here's how it all went down.

First, a birthday treat of gingersnaps and an old-fashioned vanilla malt milkshake, which Aidan especially adored.

Then, we noticed sirens and billowing black smoke and went outside to investigate.

I burned the last batch of gingersnaps while watching someone else's house burn down. Not a very good learner, eh?

This is without the zoom, so you get an idea how close we were. Not too close, thank-goodness!

We began to wonder if it was a meth house or something. This thing did some serious burning!

So after this dramatic little interlude, we went back inside for gifts.

Aidan got Papa some crunchy larvae covered in cheddar cheese. Me, Shane and Julia tried it, but the boys would NOT!

Julia got Papa a double guitar stand, but before Papa opens it he does a little guessing routine that the kids love! You can see we had to be creative in "wrapping" it. If you wrap it, it's easy to guess!

Lucas got Papa a stellarscope (in his lap), which is like a small, portable planetarium. You set it to your hemisphere, lat and long., and season and it shows you constellations in your night sky. Lucas also made Papa some more mustaches, which he loves. Can't you tell? It was funny to watch him thank Lucas with watery eyes. ;)

So Papa Shane is 35 and better than ever in so many ways. Even though we are always tired, it totally tickles me that we have trouble getting to sleep EVERY NIGHT because we want to just talk and talk. Sometimes we hold hands at breakfast. He always tells me thank-you for every meal. And he always tells me I'm gorgeous, and I'm all for nixing the laser surgery for his eyes. What woman could ask for more? He works hard, but not too hard. He likes to have fun, too. He thinks that now is the time to enjoy life, not later. Yet he is wise with finances and future planning. He likes to take the kids with us on trips and he even does the dishes on the weekends to help me out. He seems to feel as lucky to have me as I know I am to have him! In only 9.5 years we've come this far, I can't wait to see how the rest pans out.

And finally, to quote an old birthday card he wrote me: "And yes, I do celebrate the day you were born!"

PS: if you have not clicked the link on the side bar and viewed Calysta's projects yet, you MUST! I'm dying of impressed-ness!