Update on "The Crazy"

Thought I'd give the conclusion of the matter at convention!

So we all survived.  We've been home a couple weeks and things are back in the "groove" once again.

I loved Tamara's comment back on Embrace the Crazy...."no tips, but total understanding."  Such a great line and it made me feel better!  Thanks! =)  Tamara has 7 children of her own so far, so if anyone  could "pooh pooh" my little problems, she could.  Instead she dishes out understanding.  Ahhhhh! (filing away for future use)

Lucas slept away from me this year with his Grandpa and a father-son pair of good friends.  He did one trial night, and was hooked!  I found out later about late nights and Angry Birds... but I know those are memories he'll have forever with his Gpa.  ;)

Aidan is getting really good at sleeping in, so most mornings I brought him breakfast.  Julia is the one who pushes all sleep limits and she wiped out big time on Saturday.  Tears, tears, tears.  Everything was impossible, so I made a rule:  If she napped in meeting she could play in between with her friends. She didn't nap, so off we went Saturday afternoon.  She had a nice long nap and was a different person when she woke up.  The great thing was how clearly the sleep had made her feel better.  She noticed it, we talked about it and it helped her understand that her body needs it.  It's not just about Mom having some rule.  Her body tells her "I've had enough!" and she's learning to listen.

I managed alright, myself.  The entire convention was a journey for me, a lot of things to work out and struggle with.  I came away with some worries as well as help.  After the convention, I spent a little time processing, and when Sunday of #2 came around, I was thrilled with all the comfort and confirmation I got in both meetings.  I sometimes try to take on things that aren't MINE.  And I sometimes worry about things that are not in my sphere of control, and I frustrate around about it.  When a person does this, exhaustingly, it can be so wonderful when God reminds us that HE saw it all long before, has a plan, is executing it, sees the big picture and has all the power, period.  It's like realizing that you had your teeth clenched and enjoying how it feels to unclench them, only on a much larger scale. ;)  And in the end, I have A LOT of work to do.  And it's time to get on with it!

Embrace The Crazy

Sometimes, I think Mom's have to learn to embrace the crazy.  At least, I feel like that.  Sometimes the only road to sanity is to relax and decided that life WILL BE CRAZY and that it's okay.

I'm not type A, I'm not a neat freak and I don't plan my days intensely.  But as a Mom who pays the consequences for children getting the wrong foods or lack of sleep, I can be protective of the line between "the schedule" and "the crazy".

The reason for all this crazy talk is that convention looms/glimmers on the horizon and with the excitement comes the dread.  Although life is a tuneful melody compared to the chaotic din of the past, the convention schedule is still tricky.  Bedtime/nighttime is normally 7pm - 7am.  At convention, it's a maximum of 8:30pm to 6:30am.  With the distinct possibility of an even shorter night, as the past has shown.  The temps are HOT.  And so dry that heat stroke can be possible in the shade as you lose water so quickly.  But playtime is so necessary, so that kids will sit/sleep through the meetings.  Both of these things contribute heavily to crabbiness and tears as the days wear on.

The kids love convention, though, they have no thoughts about depriving themselves of all this fun just because they might be grouchy!  I love convention, too.  And that is why after thinking through all the options that I will embrace the crazy.  I know I'll be dealing with tears, so I'll just be calm and provide naps, love and soothing options.  We'll bring gallons of gatorade and play chinese jump rope in the shade.  I think it will pay off for me to prepare myself for the inevitable struggles so that I can better enjoy the spiritual offerings of convention.

Any tips from the veterans?

Convention: an annual, four-day getaway in one location(meals and beds on site) for the purpose of hearing the gospel from many ministers, including from other states and countries. Not so much outreach as it is a boost for the flock.

An Old But Favorite Poem

No promises, but I'm going to try blogging regularly once again. =)  A little something to share, I ran across it while cleaning.

After A While

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and sharing a life

and you learn that love doesn't mean possession

and company doesn't mean security

and loneliness is universal.

And you learn that kisses aren't contracts

 and presents aren't promises

and you begin  to accept your defeats

with the grace of a woman

not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your hopes on today

as the future has a way of falling apart in mid-flight

because tomorrow's ground can be too uncertain for plans

yet each step taken in a new direction creates a path

toward the promise of a brighter dawn.

And you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

so you plant your own garden

and nourish your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that love, true love

always has joys and sorrows

seems ever present, yet is never quite the same

becoming more than love

and less than love

so difficult to define.

And you learn that through it all

you really can endure

that you really are strong

that you do have value

and you learn and grow

with every goodbye

you learn.

Veronica Shoffstall

Giving

We've been trying to teach our children about giving.

There are many ways of giving, but most of them boil down to money.  We wish that we could teach our children about giving their time, their care and their things and let it be.  But we've discovered that money must also be dealt with when teaching our children about being selfless.

The first step was to introduce them to an allowance.  We have a chore chart that rotates, and everyone is on an even playing field.  Everyone gets a turn with the same chores, even Aidan.  Nice to be able to finally keep it fair!  And the rules of the game run this wise: all chores must be done, regardless.  But if the chore is not done cheerfully (which must be coupled with a stipulation against complaining), then you don't get a sticker for the chore.  Chore gets done, but no sticker.  If they don't get enough stickers, they don't get their weekly dollar.  So the dollar is more for the attitude than the chore itself.

Enter the concept of what an allowance can "get you".  Enter trips to the store to purchase plastic junk.  Enter the introduced concept of sharing that allowance.  Early on, the idea that the money is "theirs" permeates everything.  And it's like teaching a person to share all over again.  Just like we did with toys when they were little (and sometimes we still have to work on it), we teach them that even though something belongs to us, it's still right to share.  Enter the plight of the human condition and a heart of care for the needs of others.  We want to hit all the angles and expose them to awareness about the needs of others.  Like Haiti and Japan.  Like addictions.  Mental illness.  Hunger.  And the overwhelming example of Jesus in His care for the human condition with all its ugliness and sorrow.

Unlike sharing, charity is not something you can or should "make" a child do.  I sought out answers to my questions in the realm of adult attitudes towards charity.  I took a good look at myself.  I talked to Shane.  He (as always) had an insightful, personal thought on the subject.  He said that when he thinks about what he's done for others, he always feels bad because it isn't much.  He doubted that any old person has said "Boy, I wish I hadn't given away so much to charity!"  We discussed our penchant for wanting "more".  There's always so many irons in the fire, that we can never get to them all.  A new upright freezer, a washer/dryer in one drum, a patio, a new car, pay down the loans, move the driveway to a new spot, save up for yearly vacations... and plenty of indoor ideas.  With all that we want to do, it's easy to forget that someone, many someones, are hungry.  Many somebodies don't get a good education.  And how comfortable do we feel when we choose ourselves, repeatedly, over them?  Shane and I agree: not so very.  Jesus didn't say "fill up thy barns and build bigger", but he said "take no thought for the morrow or for what you will wear or what you will eat".

I think it is an unavoidable, human trait to want.  And I suppose that the first thing I can do for my children is to WANT to think of others.  And to expose them to the burgeoning of love for others that comes with charity, and also to be wary of self-congratulation or the praise of men.

Whew!  Any thoughts?

Resolute

My first post of the New Year... meant to get this one out last week. I love new weeks, new months, new years. I loved the beginnings of a new semester in school and I love the fresh new start of a new notebook.

I was thinking about what I'd like to do better in 2011, and it occurred to me that I should first take stock of last year. Well, that's kind of fun, really! I actually see a few things accomplished, and like seeing the scale go down, seeing things accomplished makes me eager to accomplish more. (Could I use that word a few more times in one sentence?)

A few things I'm glad to have accomplished this past year:

I lost 19 pounds. =)

I painted four rooms, one being a living room.

I built (with help) a chicken coop and moved in five biddies.

I began homeschooling seriously.

I enrolled one kid in a Montessori school, a long time goal.

I took a trip north to visit my family.

I maintained a healthy marriage.

I did other little things along the way like sewing projects, regular visits to a science museum, volunteering, better budgeting and eating habits.

Now, all these things I say "I" did, but two things of note: I didn't do any of them alone and I didn't do most of them perfectly, but at least I did them or they are a good way into meeting the ultimate goal.

This is a picture of our first week of working out! Shane decided it was time to have a chart to keep us accountable, as we've started this several times already. We are taking it really easy, but I have no choice: I'm a wimp. But at least we're doing something!

This year in 2011 I have a few more goals. And I feel better about making them now that I see that in spite of being ME, I managed to make a little headway last year. So here they are:

NUMBER ONE: continue to maintain that marriage!

2. Finish losing the weight and work on fitness

3. Improve homeschooling so I'm happy with ALL (or more) aspects and subjects.

4. Do better with thank-you's, letters, and gifts. (Plan ahead!)

5. Explore further opportunities to do community service.

6. Finish painting the house!

7. Learn to eliminate junk piles in my life. Be tidy! This is a biggie!

And the last thing I want to do is keep on trying to love and enjoy the "NOW". We have a few family trips tentatively planned that the hubby has picked out and some landscaping projects that should help us enjoy our house and property as a family.

Shane and I went to go watch a movie after the kids were in bed and instead we sat on our "kissing couch" (our first kiss!) and we chatted for a couple hours. We chatted about his goals with work, we chatted about the right balance for teaching kids, what we can teach them and what they need to learn in their own time. We chatted about money and what role we want it to play in our lives. We chatted about excess and living out our convictions when we are used to a LOT of excess in our own habits. This is what I consider to be the ultimate in my human experience. That my husband is my best friend and that we want to talk to each other, be on the same page and help each other change for the better. And we both want help in changing ourselves to be better.

Underscoring all of this is feeling a need of spiritual growth. We just started the year with Special Meetings and that felt like a new page and a new beginning, too. I have a lot of encouragement, help and love from people in my life, but ultimately I want to have the root of the matter within my own heart. Sometimes I want other people to confirm things I think and feel, and instead I need to make sure God is my first and final source for everything I do or don't do. I want to give my children spiritual things that are sure and certain. And the only source for things like that is God himself.

And furthermore, all other accomplishments are meaningless to me without a living relationship with God!

So here's to a new year! *clink* Who knows what awaits us? Maybe joy, maybe sorrow but through it all there is much to be gained and much to learn.

A wonderful new year to you all and to all a good night!

Growth

Ahhh, the weekend is here. Saturday mornings the kids are allowed to watch parent-selected and approved entertainment media so we can SLEEP IN!! Also, the clever mama has cottage cheese and cold cereal on hand for "do it yourself" mornings so the kids can feed themselves a decent breakfast.

Julia: who does seem to love school, to my relief. At least, this week she does. She has been spending time sitting on Papa's lap looking at cars (he's eternally shopping for a new one) and yesterday she convinced him to look for pink cars! So he relented and looked up some youtube videos of pink cars. At least it's an Audi, but how could someone actually paint an Audi pink?? Julia can understand. =) She may be his little race car driver girl someday. But he might have to get used to pink race cars.

Last night, we popped open a small watermelon and the kids went to town...

Aidan eyes the mommy with the camera shoved into his face...

And Julia really dug in!

A good friend turned us on to a very cool co-op locally. It's an organic farm and you can sign up for their weekly harvest box. Inside, you get whatever is in season, year round! On their website, you can opt out of things you are allergic to, or simply don't like. But you can always add eggs, bread, honey and extra fruit. It's very cool and keeps us in fresh veggies once a week, supporting local growers and organic farming.

On to the painting... I promise, I tried to paint this week. But I was so unmotivated, I could hardly stand it. So I taped everything off and forced myself to start cutting in the edges. I gave Julia the roller this time, although this isn't her room, it's the school room. Here she is, helping...

And picking at paint on her knee. Notice the odd floor taping style? I taped the carpet, then pulled it back and taped it away from the wall and stuck another strip of tape behind that. It is SO HARD to keep the tape from drying to the wet wall with all that poofy carpet behind it. This seems to work, although I can't say I've tried to pull it off yet. Frankly, I don't care anymore. ;)

So three walls are cut in and painted as high as I can reach standing up, and it's been that way for three days, now. I did get an awesome idea from sister Calysta... Magnetic primer! So since one wall will be bright red, I think I'll primer it before with a couple layers then put the red on. I'll let you know how it goes! =) The reviews are iffy on how much it can hold, but I only plan to magnet papers of the kids' school work, nothing heavy.

A few thoughts on "growth" that have been on my mind...

I read that grapes will always favor the production of new growth over fruit production and because of this, vinedressers must be ruthless in cutting back the new growth. Because the only reason a vinedresser has grape vines is for the fruit. Growth for it's own sake is nice, leafy and lovely, but fruitless. Growth for the sake of fruit, now there's something of value. And of course, I've been thinking about this in my own life. Growth for the sake of growth alone is a pointless endeavor. But to grow and be ruthlessly cut back in order for a large supply of fruit in my life is a much more worthwhile way to spend my time.

Ever since we've been sick for 3 and a half weeks, I've felt behind. Every activity I do isn't an accomplishment, it's a catch-up chore with thirty more to do after it. The school year is starting and I'm not ready for homeschool. My home is in the midst of painting projects which means furniture is all over the place, laundry is piling up and I just hope the kids will act up so I can assign them some bathroom cleaning and vacuuming. =) So even though so much is getting done and I can point to a million things I've worked on, the sense of accomplishment is missing.

So instead of focusing on accomplishments for their own sake, I need to remember the fruits that should be developing along the way. Like patience, for one. Instead of that "growth for growths sake" goal of finishing painting, I need to focus on being patient when the kids want to "help out". Help create a memory for them... "Remember when we helped Mama paint the house? Remember how I painted this room and she said I did a good job?". Maybe I should watch their little faces as they focus on doing their best to please me. It's really just a simple perspective shift, but oh, how hard it is to actually SHIFT!

I was reminded that the purpose of fruit is to glorify God. And there are lots of other fringe benefits to having fruit in our lives, but it's important to remember that glorifying Him is really what it's all about. I guess it is easy to get carried away putting my energy into growing when that energy should be spent producing fruit. So you know what that means! Time for the shears, the snip and chop of things that take my energy away from fruiting.

Lindsay O'Conner,(my inspiration for the growth thoughts) in her book If Mama Goes South, We're All Going With Her, talks at length about giving from nothing, growth, fulfillment and how to meet the demands of Motherhood with grace, joy and a wealth of resources and how to combat the inevitable stress, emptiness, loneliness and negativity that can come with being needed by everyone in your family. This book makes me cry every time I read the first chapter, I can identify so incredibly well with the emptiness, impotence and frustration in her little story of a Mama going south. But this book did not leave me the same person as when I picked it up. I wish that I was everything I purpose for myself, but at least I'm on a better track for becoming a woman, and wife and a mother that embraces my roles with gusto! With fervor! And secure in the knowledge that this is where God wants me and He can fill me to overflowing so I never need to fear being empty or having nothing to give.

Have a great weekend! =)